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  • Writer's pictureKate Clarke

Nero's Bath, Elvis, Lisa Marie

Updated: Nov 14, 2022

I visited the Vatican museum years ago.

The orgy of wealth was shameful and I think everyone leaves the place feeling a little grubby, but the blood-red curves of Nero's bath have always stayed with me.

It is made of Imperial Porphyry. There was only one mine, in Egypt, that produced the stone, so its rarity and fact that its purple shade resembles the colour of the stripe that ran through the senators’ robes of the time makes the thing priceless.

I also recall, in those tall glass cabinets, a vial of treacly oil from the first spurting of a significant oil-well, and a chunk of moon-rock.

It seems I now have my own chunk of moon-rock. Ronny has given me his piece of wood that Elvis stood on when they met one time. It is a long story, but it is one of the best I've heard. You can find it here:

I can't tell you how much I love the idea of The King poking through Ronny's Elvis scrapbook and coming across this quirky memento. (The scrapbook comes in a 1950's shade of blush pink with fancy gold lettering. It looks like it should belong to Mitzi Gaynor or Zsa Zsa Gabor).

Elvis also met Ronny's grandmother, Lottie, who baked him a fresh coconut cake. Ronny is going to get me the recipe from his cousin Sandra.

So, anyway, this piece of wood is, of course, the most exciting thing I own.

I plan to put it on a chain and wear it around my neck like a holy relic. And when people ask me about it my explanation will be met with glazed disinterest.

"Elvis? Oh yeah. I think my grandmother liked him."

I plan to enjoy the thing immensely, but, as you know, I'm an over- thinker so I am already feeling the weight of its responsibility.

Who can I possibly leave it to?

Who would understand this stuff?

Should I leave it to my niece, Millie?

No. She would ebay it before the last teardrop fell.

Me and Ronny have run through a few possibilities and come up with nobody suitable.

So I have decided to leave it to Lisa Marie. I hope she appreciates it.

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