• Kate Clarke

Do You Reckon Adam and Eve Did This?

I had a conversation with a guy today about that thing some men do.

The ‘How can I present myself to this one in a way that would appeal?’ thing.

The ‘Who can I pretend to be that would get me the thing I want?’ thing.

I said: How do they think that is going to end except in disappointment for all?

Nobody wants to fall for a mirage and nobody wants to be one.

He laughed, a little awkward. (That's not what he's doing.)

It's OK, I said, I understand.

Men think it is their job to pursue, to track down, to win;

And they learn the tactics early, from brothers, their mates, the TV - three bad sources, right there;

And some women don’t hate the game;

And how else is the human race supposed to proliferate?;

And I might find it tiresome but I’ll miss it soon enough, for sure.

I told him about Simon, who messaged me some months ago to present himself as a friend in dark times.

Now, I’ve known Simon a long time and he isn’t known for his acts of kindness or for treating people well. He’s an angry serial shagger with a mean mouth and a dark heart.

And when pressed he admitted he’d split with his girlfriend and was looking for another.


A few weeks later there was a new one his Facebook feed, looking just like his ex-wife.

He’s the kind of man who is convinced a man and a woman cannot be friends, because what would be the point?

A friendship with a woman is simply an advert of his failure.

To those people who think I should have moved on by now I ask you this.

Do you remember your first car, your first job, your first time?

Doesn’t it feel like it was only yesterday?

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